Tiffany's Fan Club

Tiffany!

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Q1. How much is a JewBoi?

Q2. How does one get a Canadian Boy? It must be harder than getting a JewBoi or a fox... smuggling pot into the country isn't quite the same as smuggling Torahs.

Q3. Will we be featuring South Dakotans in our gift shop any time soon?

Q4. How does one get a South Dakotan?

Q1. How much is a JewBoi?
A1. There are a few different ways of purchasing JewBois. We will briefly outline some of the more popular ways. (Please note: Tiffanyfanclub.com does not recommend any of these methods and does not attest to the legality of / nor do we take any responsibility for following the instructions.)

1. Fly to New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, or any other American city that has a big population of Jews and visit a Chinese or Pizza shop. Order a large portion. Offer part of your portion to one or more of the JewBois. Watch them collapse in shock. Put them in a suitcase. Fly to Tiffany. Present the now groggy JewBoi(s) to Tiffany. Bask in her appreciation!

2. Fly to Israel. Go to the Wailing (Western) Wall (the remaining wall from the Second Jewish Temple). Go up to one or more of the JewBois there. Act confused as to where you are.... ask them escort you to Jaffa Gate. On the way, accidentally end up in the alleyway to the Greek Monastery. Convert them to Christianity. Offer to take them to the Bible belt so they can grow. Fly to Tiffany. Present the now saved JewBoi(s) to Tiffany. Bask in her appreciation!

3. Stay home. Sleep late. Wake up. Take a shower. Crack your knuckles. Pick your nose. Wash your laundry. Power on your computer. Go to Amazon.com, Ebay.com, or TiffanyFanclub.com. Add JewBoi to your shopping cart. Pay with a credit card. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. (Please note... Amazon.com does not offer ShipperSavings on this item) Inspect JewBoi for defects. If none found, present the now stamped JewBoi(s) to Tiffany. Bask in her appreciation!

Please note kidnapping is technically considered a crime in American and Biblical law, but....

Thanks and happy shopping!
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Q2. How does one get a Canadian Boy? It must be harder than getting a JewBoi or a fox... smuggling pot into the country isn't quite the same as smuggling Torahs.
Congratulations on being the first person in the history of the world to be interested in obtaining a Canadian!

We aren't sure if that's cause for celebration or consternation, but it's certainly noteworthy.

As near as we can reckon, the process is as follows:
(
If you are seeking a female Canadian, log into canadianbride.com and order one or several today.
If you are seeking a male Canadian, log into canadianbride.com and order one or several today.
)

1. Go to a zoo
2. Buy a horse and donkey
3. Mate the animals
4. Voila you have a mule!

1. Open a Sears Catalog
2. Order some kitchen supplies
3. Wait for the pot to arrive

(Warning the following is explicit...)
1. Go to Canada (this is the explicit part)
2. Flash an American dollar bill
3. Use a taser to keep the crowd at bay
4. Collect the ones you want to bring into the states
5. To get past the border guards, use plenty of AXE (or other sweet smelly devices) on your car to hide the smells of Canadians and drugs.

We hope this is of some use to you... if any of these methods work, please be sure to let us know... as far as we know it's against the law for a Canadian to enter the USA.
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Q3. Will we be featuring South Dakotans in our gift shop any time soon?
We are thinking of adding South Dakotan to the gift shop! Stay tuned!
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Q4. How does one get a South Dakotan?
This solution was sent in by one of our esteemed members (aren't they all?); the esteemed South Dakotan
1. Fly to visit Tiffany in South Dakota. In the airport you will meet up with several down-home SDans. I say several - not many - and this is because the airports are so small. Ask anyone in the airport if they would like to visit Tiffany with you; they will jump at the opportunity, proud to be thus included in the joyful celebration of Tiffany. In such a sparsely populated state, it is impossible to not know and love Tiffany.
2. Visit a coffee shop in Sioux Falls. Bring along your musical talents, be it voice or instrument, or lip-syncing skills if all else fails. Play your heart out. People will flock to you, mesmerized by the music. Continuing to play, lead all directly to Tiffany's domain.
3. Again in Sioux Falls, invite any potential gift-people to Applebees. Their desire for such a tantalizing meal will play them into your hands. Be sure to invite Tiffany along to Applebees.

I certainly hope this helps. Anything for the goal of bringing the joy of Tiffany to the world.
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